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sagster_syco86
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read my profile
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Name: Sagar
Birthday: 7/5/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Ownage of any sort, Meeting new and interesting people, Chemistry, Video/Computer Games, Cricket, Soccer, Badminton, Tennis, Music (it is life), Eating, Sleeping
Expertise: Owning and possibly chemistry
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
AIM:  sagster syco86
MSN: sagster86@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/4/2005
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| I've got a new blog up:
http://reluctantdoctor.blogspot.com
expect entries there from now on.
Ta
-sagster_syco86
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| I'm
writing this because it makes me feel better, it makes me feel more
under control of things and more importantly, if someone else stumbles
on it, I know it can help them. It will make them think things
differently...try something else other than the dark path they may be
contemplating.
The past few weeks have been hard on you. You
had something which you didn't want to end, but it ended, and it ended
without your accord or wishes. Suddenly two weeks later and you seem to
be made out to be the immature one. The one who doesn't 'get it'.
Everything between you seems to be distant. All the effort and care and
love you put into it blossomed but it led to nothing but a broken heart
and loneliness.
Sure, you might be angry. You might even
despise him/her for it. You might try to justify that anger in more
than one way. It's okay to be upset. To even hate him/her for it. After
all, even after what happened, what they wrought, they still want to be
friends. Talk about a best-of-both worlds deal.
And now you
don't know what to do with yourself. If you take the friendship card,
you'll be compromising your values, your wants. And once again, you'll
be still attached to their string, to their motives and their
conditions. If you reject it, you'll lose everything, becoming nothing
more than mere acquaintances who had a thing once. Either way, it's
going to hurt and everything might seem gloomy and dark.
Sounds
familiar to anyone? Yeah, you're going through this. It hurts like a
bitch. And even with the everlasting support of your friends (who by
the way have helped you infinitely through this), it's not going to
fill that void. A first love, loved and left isn't something that can
be replaced. You want it back, but you know you can't have it.
Instead
of being on his/her string, take control. I'm going through this, and
the first thing I did was embrace my love for music once again. The day
we ended it, was the day I walked back to my room, put on my headphones
and started listening to Smashing Pumpkins (Tonight Tonight). I started
going back to band rehearsals, trying new instruments, and have been
auditioning for other bands. I've been listening to music day in and
day out. Music is something that's gotten me through the depression in
high school, freshman year of college and the summers through India.
It's something that won't leave me, because in some ways, it's defined
who I am. Forget about them for now. There is a future still there to
live through. And when shit gets thrown at me, the best thing I can do
is wear the headphones and crank the volume a notch.
I guess
my final advice to you, kid, is to embrace something that you know
you'll always love for the rest of your days. Something that you know
won't leave you. You can't depend on other people for this. To do so,
will set you up for disappointment again. Find something, be it a
hobby, a job or anything that you know will always wait for you through
thick and thin. Music is my drug. What's yours?
-Sagar
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| 3.5 more weeks before my internship ends.
I've learned so much MATLAB that it's become second nature to me. I've even started teaching MATLAB to my dad, who needs it for his new quant job.
I've also gotten a chance to try some of the nice eateries around Boston ever since Lisa came up to New England. P.F. Chang's is a decent place. And a place outside of Boston in Charleston MA has a nice middle-eastern place called Tanginerino. Food isn't too great but the ambiance is.
We also saw Blue Man Group a while back. Perhaps if I were taller, willing to shave my head and didn't have an aversion to facepaint, I would totally abandon my dreams of becoming a doctor and settle for playing around with food coloring, toilet paper and drums.
Starting the secondary applications process...a little late, but better now than never.
-sagster_syco86
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| 13 more hours...
There's a Borders Book Seller right outside my office in Boston. Maybe if I sneak out of work early, I can get into a decent sized line...
or I could just wait until the crowd dies down.
-sagster_syco86
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